Worst Christmas Album Of The Year...

...is by the Stone Temple Pilots guy Scott Weiland. Listen to it streaming here (if you dare).

The first song had me thinking that he just might pull it off, but then...it was hard to listen to "I'll Be Home For Christmas," which you can listen to/download

HERE

without spitting out my eggnog in laughter. The absurd crooner vibrato and wavering pitch of the former rocker/junkie/jailbird is backed by "sophisticated" orchestrations, pseudo-calypso, cheezy Casio drum-machine lounge, and even the whitest kind of Jimmy Buffet-reggae. Won't knock out Dylan's xmas atrocity as 'worst holiday album ever by a rocker,' but Bob does now have some serious competition. Merry Kissmyass!

Elvis with Buddy Love with Elvis with...

The Elvis Experience with Buddy Love is a curious bit of Elvis-iana from Spain. Apparently it's yet another E impersonator, but one that raises a number of questions: why does he go by the name Buddy Love, the name of a Jerry Lewis film character? What's with that picture (taken from his MySpace page)? Is he doing a Buddy Holly impression on "True Love Ways"? And why does he start this CD-R (presumably sold at shows) with four obscurities, then a Peggy Lee cover, instead of Elvis classics? Maybe those songs where big in Spain. "Edge Of Reality" is totally great, tho, it shouldn't be obscure - this late-period b-side from a forgettable film had me seeking out the original (see vid below). Would go well on a psychotic-themed playlist with Porter W`goner's "Rubber Room" and The Cramps "Can't Find My Mind."

Buddy's accent and not-entirely-complete grasp of English does come thru on the slower numbers like "Fever," where he sings lines like: "fever started out ago." And on "Viva Las Vegas" is he singing "Fever Las Vegas?" Weird how he doesn't do many of the famous songs - I had to use an internet lyrics search to find what some of these songs were called, and I thought I had a fairly good grasp of The King's career. Guess I don't know as much about him as I thought...and I've even been to Sun Studios, Graceland and his childhood house in Tupelo.

The Elvis Experience with Buddy Love

01 Pocketful of Rainbows
02 It Hurts Me
03 Young and Beautiful
04 Edge Of Reality
05 Fever
06 Flaming Star
07 Are You Lonesome Tonight
08 Memories
09 Forever My Darling
10 She's Not You
11 Rubberneckin'
12 True Love Ways
13 Separate Ways
14 Viva Las Vegas
15 My Boy

And if anyone wants to buy me a Christmas present, holy crap, check THIS out - it's the female Eilert Pilarm!



Thankyouverymuch, windy.

YOUR COMPUTER DYING: THE REMIX

Jeff Kolar's "Start Up / Shut Down" is a free 'net-label two-track single creating solely from: "Window and Macintosh operating system event sounds. This project features remixed material sourced from Microsoft Windows (3.1, 4.0, NT, 95, 98, Me, XP, Vista, 7, 8) and Macintosh OS (10.0 Cheetah, 10.1 Puma, 10.2 Jaguar, 10.3 Panther) operating systems."

The glitchy abstract electronica of "Start Up" certainly doesn't sound like anything you would expect to hear coming out of computers, unless you threw a bunch of 'em into a full bathtub and recorded their dying screams. "Shut Down" is really nice, a sci-fi drone-fest - easy-listening music for robots.

Mr. Kolar is the man behind "Other Voices," the sound piece made from homemade radios we wrote about earlier this year.

Jeff Kolar's "Start Up / Shut Down"

New Wave Covers For Oldies Lovers - Part 3

Like I said: "During the upheaval of the late '70s/early '80s punk days, there was a real changing-of-the-guard feeling that led many groups of the time to cover classic oldies from the sacred rock 'n' roll canon in an irreverent (if not downright disrespectful) fashion." Part 1 and Part 2 of this series have been two of my most-downloaded collections, so here's a third batch - with suggestions from some of you - of wild 'n' wooly '70s/'80s devolved covers ranging from hardcore slammers to New Wave synth nerdiness to art-damaged tune destructions. You'll probably recognize a few famous things here, but there's plenty of obscure-but-great ripped-from-vinyl rarities as well. Weirdly enough, there are not one, but two electric violin-based tracks here: Walter Steding, and Nash The Slash. And, seriously, when was the last time you listened to the Plasmatics?

Put your hands in your pockets and commence pogo dancing...NOW!

New Wave Covers For Oldies Lovers - Part 3

Elvis section:

1. Dead Kennedys "Viva Las Vegas"
2. Walter Steding "Hound Dog" [Robert Fripp on guitar]
3. John Cale "Heartbreak Hotel" [live, with possibly Brian Eno, Kevin Ayers, Mike Oldfield)
4. Judy Nylon "Jailhouse Rock"

5. Frank Sumatra And The Mob "Telstar"
6. The Plasmatics w/Lemmy "Stand By Your Man"
7. Nurse With Wound "Antacid Cocamotive 93 ["The Locomotion"]"
8. Brian Sands "Baby You're A Rich Man"
9. Dictators "I Got You Babe"
10. Hüsker Dü "Love Is All Around ["Mary Tyler Moore Show" theme]"
11. Talking Heads "Love Is All Around" (live) [The Troggs]
12. Pure Hell "These Boots Are Made For Walking"
13. Ronny "If You Want Me To Stay"
14. The Plugz "La Bamba"
15. Brian Eno "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
16. Nash the Slash "Dopes on the Water" ["Smoke On The Water"]
17. Implog "On B'way"
18. Hüsker Dü "Eight Miles High"
19. Plasmatics "Dream Lover"
20. The Stranglers "Walk On By"

Thanks to those of you who suggested some of these.

BIZARRO CLOWN JAZZ

Jazz legend Charles Mingus needs no introduction, and if you don't know the name of writer Jean Shepherd, you probably know of his works, e.g. the 1983 film "A Christmas Story." None of which will prepare you for this 12 minute hunk of twisted circus jazz and dark humor, the kind of spoken word/music surrealism that Joe Frank does, but this is from 1957. From Mingus' album of the same name, prepare thyself for..."The Clown":

T.V.O.D.

I can think of no better way to spend seven-and-a-half minutes then with this stupendous stop-motion animation/sound & audio collage by Los Angeles' Janie Geiser. Like if one of Joseph Cornell's shadow boxes was animated by the Brothers Quay:



Halfcast Podcast, who made all those bee-YOO-tee-ful outsider-music videos for us last month, have returned with a hilarious Yuletide chestnut featuring the late, beloved Wesley Willis. Merry Christmas!



The use of the also late, great Del Rubio Triplets in the Wesley Willis video prompted me to revisit that magic moment from their appearance on the Pee Wee Herman Christmas special:



Ah, the Del Rubios. I miss 'em. Saw at the old Rhino Records store late '80s. They were well into their 60s at the time, in their trademark miniskirts and gogo boots, and were so chatty and friendly they spent half the time talking to the crowd. Actually, when I saw Wesley Willis in the late '90s he also spent half the time doing other things besides playing music. It was at the Luz de Jesus Gallery, to promote his show of identical-looking pictures of Chicago cityscapes, as obsessively repetitious as his music, and in lengthy stretches between songs, he'd grunt things like "kick a camel's ass," and have girls come up from the audience to head-butt him. Good night, sweet prince(esses).

Best Music Events in Austin, Texas

If you are looking for a place to live where there is always something going on, especially within the music industry, then Austin Texas is the place for you. No matter what type of music you are into, there are always awesome music events going on in Austin, and you can find concerts to go to pretty much every week if this is something you are into. The many Austin nightclubs boast some of the best entertainment in the city, and you will find some of the best in local entertainment here. If it is the larger, more well-known acts you are interested in, there are concerts and events going on all the time.

Austin Music Festivals

There are many different music festivals held in Austin throughout the year. The biggest, and probably the most popular, is the Austin City Limits Music Festival, which is the largest music festival the city holds every year. This festival goes on for three days, and is held at Zilker Park, which boasts 46 acres where some of the most popular artists from all over the world play. Some of the acts that have been featured at this music festival include The Eagles and The Strokes. Not only will you get to enjoy some great music, you can also find some delicious food and great shopping. There is even a concert venue for the little ones in your family, Kiddie Limits, where they can enjoy music that is written and performed just for them.

Another popular Austin music festival is the Austin Reggae Festival, which is a celebration of everything Jamaican, from music to food and culture. This festival is held in the spring, and there are four days of music and fun, so you probably will want to pitch a tent and enjoy the entire festival. This is a fun time for the whole family, and there is something for everyone to enjoy, no matter what their ages. Bring your family and a tent, and enjoy four days of music, fun and food.

If you would like to step back into the 60's, then you simply have to take in the Austin Psych Fest, where you can listen to some really great psychedelic rock. This festival began in 2008, and is growing year by year. There are some really amazing musical performances, which combine not only awesome music, but some terrific visual art to give you the total psychedelic experience. Modern psych bands such as The Black Angels and Silver Apples have performed at this festival, which is geared more towards adults rather than entire families.

Music lovers will love living in Austin, Texas. Not only are there terrific music festivals in all genres of music held year-round, the nightclubs boast some of the greatest entertainment in Texas, and of course, there are always concert events going on. Whether you want to get hard and heavy with your favorite rock and roll bands, kick back with some country western, or take in the opera, you can find it all in Austin, Texas.

Best Musical Instruments for Kids Under Age 5

As a parent, I am sure that you are dumbfounded by the sheer amount of musical toys on the market. We all like the idea of introducing our kids to music, but which instruments should we buy? Does my 3-year-old child really need a $300 guitar? As a professional musician and dad of a toddler who is currently dealing with this issue, I am going to try to greatly simplify the process for you in a way that will save you money without compromising your child's musical explorations. My emphasis will be on presenting cool (wood, handmade, Fair Trade, Eco-Friendly) alternatives to the cheesy plastic instruments sold at most toy stores. I like the idea of finding instruments with staying power -- ones that have the potential to be played for a lifetime assuming that they survive the toddler years - or at least can be saved as keepsakes. That toy drum adorned with popular cartoon characters is not going have much use after age 5, and is destined for a landfill.

The first thing I am going to do is separate musical toys from musical instruments. For clarity, I am defining a musical instrument as any device that has a direct correlation between a child's action and pitch. For example, hitting a drum, plucking a string, striking a key, or blowing air through it all result in a tone or pitch being produced. I will even go one step further and say that there must be some way to play an actual melody (note for note) on the toy in a way that resembles a real musical instrument (excluding drums and percussion instruments like shakers). This is difficult to put in words, but it will become very clear as you read on.

Working from this definition, most Musical Tables, and Toy Guitars with no strings and lots of flashy buttons do not qualify as musical instruments. I am not saying that these toys are bad or useless (purists will vehemently disagree) - simply that they are not musical instruments. We have an activity table that I thought I would hate, but as I observed my son discovering more things on it and "commanding it", I began to see some value. At 2, he could make it play the 'Counting to Ten Song' and the 'Alphabet Song' as he sang along. Nevertheless, we try to keep the flashy battery operated toys to a minimum.

5 Best Musical Instrument Apps for Android

For the average person, music helps relax the mind and calm the senses. For the music enthusiasts, lively beats and interesting words bring inspiration and entertainment.

Is music limited to radios, televisions and music players? Definitely not, for even the smallest of gadgets are completely capable of playing your favorite tunes. With the rise of smartphones and tablet PCs, listening to music must be a crucial feature. Most smartphones, tablet PCs and other portable gadgets run on a particular operating system, and Android is undoubtedly leading the race. The Android Market boasts of thousands of applications, and a considerable chunk of these is dedicated for all the music lovers all over the world.

Apart from music players, what other applications are dedicated for music? Here are the 5 best musical instrument applications for your Android gadget:

1. JCI Piano Chords

If you cannot afford a grandiose piano, this piano application will do. Created exclusively for all piano enthusiasts, the JCI Piano Chords application allows you to master the black-and-white musical keys, at least in a virtual way. Release yourself from the tension and play soft tunes, or excite yourself with pleasantly loud rhythms. With this application, you can adjust the reverb mix, roll keys and record anything that you have practiced.

2. Harmonica

The harmonica is a lovely instrument capable of creating captivating tunes. The simple use of your lips is enough to create rhythms that are very pleasant to the ears. How can you play this virtually, through your Android gadget? Technology should never be underestimated, because you can now play this instrument using your handheld device. The Harmonica application boasts of a diatonic harmonica with 10 genuine holes. You can play single notes and chords with this virtual instrument, as all the 12 keys from can be used.

3. Guitar: Solo

The guitar is indeed one of the most popular musical instruments. Fortunately, those who cannot bring themselves to learn the art of strumming will find Guitar: Solo a more enjoyable experience. This is great for jamming sessions, if bringing a guitar is impossible. You can use this application to play your favorite hits and create your own songs. The user interface is also customizable, so you can change the settings any time you want.

4. Electric Drum

This programmable drum machine is a drummer's best friend. With this application, you can use various musical samples or loops to create new beats. This application also features real-time song playback and editing, song recording and customizable drum kits. Developers constantly update this version, so any glitches are fixed in no time.

5. Tuner - gStrings

This all-around application will let you play various musical instruments like the guitar, bass, piano, violin and viola. This will also allow you to learn orchestra tuning and adjust the microphone sensitivity. Moreover, there are different temperaments that you can explore such as the Meantone and Pythagorean. Music lovers who love to play string and wind instruments will definitely enjoy having this application on their Android gadget.

Best Music Phones of All Time

It's a fact that there has been a tremendous demand for music phones. The growing trend has made mobile companies to offer entire series of mobile phones based on music feature being the focus. Examples are many like the Nokia Xpress Music series, Sony Ericsson "Walkman" series, Motorola's "Rokr" series and Samsung's "Beat" series.

When buying a music phone one is stuck with so many options that its hard to chose one, so usually when you go to buy a music phone whether the choice you are making is correct or not. Is the music phone i am going to buy worth the money it's priced at?. These are some of the questions that every one has in mind before purchase. So we have compiled a list of the best music phones to hit the market in recent years and those who are a hit in the market to this date. So when you buy any of these music phones you would surely not regret your decision. Here is the list of Top Five music phones of all times.

1. Nokia 5800 Xpress Music

Nokia's highly popular Xpress Music series has many fabulous music phones in its lineup. But the most famous music phone which is a great hit in the market, is 5800 Xpress Music.It was Nokia's first Symbian S60 touch phone. Nokia says it has shipped more then 8 million units worldwide since its launch.

Features are:

    * 3.2 inch display,360x640 pixels with accelerometer for auto rotate
    * 3.2 MP camera with dual LED flash and geo-tagging feature
    * GPS with A-GPS
    * Micro-SD card slot upto 16GB
    * WiFi
    * Tv Out
    * OVI and Myspace integrated
    * Fm Radio with RDS (maximum 20 channels)
    * Built-in stereo speakers
    * Full QWERTY keyboard (after firmware update)
    * Secondary Videocall camera

If you are buying 5800 Xpress Music make sure you are running the latest firmware update which has made several improvements to the default firmware like updated applications, more CPU speed, better performance.

2. Sony Ericsson W995

Sony Ericsson W995 comes with not only the best audio quality and performance but also comes with an 8MP camera. It's not just a mere music phone but a smart bundle of many things which include a great camera, WiFi, GPS and Multi tasking support.

Features are

    * 2.6 inch TFT display with accelerometer
    * 8.1 MP camera with autofocus,LED flash,face detection and geo-tagging
    * Walkman player version 4.0 with SensMe and shake control
    * Stereo speakers and 3.5mm audio jack
    * Multi-tasking support. Listen to music and work at the same time
    * WiFi with DLNA support
    * Comes with 8GB card
    * Fm Radio with RDS

3. Nokia X6.

The X6 is perhaps the newest in our best music phones of all times. The reason is that it is one great music phone with top notch audio quality. X6 comes in three version, X6 32GB, X6 16GB and X6 8GB. It's an all rounder phone with 5MP camera and sleek stylish looks.

One feature which was previously on board in X6 was one year free music subscription which is now cancelled by Nokia.

Features:

    * Large 3.2 inch display,capacitive touchscreen, accelerometer, proximity sensor
    * Motion based gaming
    * 5MP camera with dual LED Flash
    * WiFi
    * Virtual QWERTY keyboard
    * OVI,Facebook,MySpace, YouTube,Yahoo IM and Windows live support.
    * FM radio with RDS
    * 35 hours of music playback time

4. Apple iPhone 4

Without any second thoughts Apple iPhone 4 strong music performance even though it has so much to it besides just delivering excellent audio quality. Apple's iPod is a popular music gadget and you can expect that Apple will leave no stone unturned in bringing out the same or more then the audio performance of iPod. Its got so much in it you won't regret buying it.

Features:

    * 3.5 inch display 640x960 pixels
    * 1 GHz Apple A4 processor
    * 5 MP, 2592 x 1944 pixels, autofocus, LED flash, geo tagging
    * Wi-Fi 802.11 b/g/n
    * Video: 720p @30fps, LED video light, geo-tagging,
    * TV Out
    * Music play upto 40hours

5. Sony Ericsson W902

Belonging to the Walkman series is a certificate for W902 itself that the phone is a high quality music phone. W902. It is one of few music phones to have an equally good camera as well. With dedicated music keys and features like multi tasking support W902 makes it to our list of Top 5 music phones of all times.

Features:

    * 2.2" TFT display
    * 5 megapixel auto-focus camera with LED flash
    * Walkman 3.0 music player with Shake control and SenseMe
    * Fm radio with RDS
    * Multi tasking
    * 256 MB internal memory, Comes with 8GB card.

"I HOPE YOUR BIRTHDAY IS AS SPECIAL AS YOU AAAARE!"

Gnarboots are a completely ridiculous band from Central California that play a variety of styles with a surprising amount of skill, considering the fact that they're a buncha immature smart-asses who take nothing, including themselves, seriously. A stance I support in theory - the problem is that sometimes amusing oneself doesn't always translate into amusing others. This album, however, is a loveable mutt that I liked even better on second spin. The Dead Milkmen of a new generation? Sayeth they:

"...it is a weird album and we are a weird band. We have a bunch of birthday songs on there (including a hardcore punk song) as well as a cover of the Kelly Family's "Aint gonna pee pee", a cover of the Christian band Lust Control's anti-masturbation song, "The Big M." There's a ska song about Joey Lawrence, punk songs, electronic songs, hip hop songs, and other weird things." I like the old chacha record samples. And it's all free!

Gnarboots Happy Birthday

1. Birthday 2
2. Doggy Door
3. The Big "M"
4. Interlude
5. Fantasy
6. WE.R.ALL.GNARBOOTS
7. Special Day I
8. Ain't Gonna Pee-Pee My Bed Tonight
9. Today Is My Birthday
10. Nerds
11. Interlude
12. I Want To Be Joey Lawrence
13. You're So Rude
14. Birthday 3
15. Monica Birth
16. Police of F`shion
17. Special Day II
18. Welcome to my Birthday Party